Since the current regime in power in the Senate and the White House seem to think it’s okay to rewrite the U.S. Constitution and while they’re at it, take away the rights given to us, I thought I would take a look at that great document and see what else we can change, just for the hell of it.  These idiots have said “the second amendment doesn’t apply to assault weapons because they weren’t around in 1776 when the constitution was written.”  I’m not sure who said it, but I’m sure one of the chowderheads trying to pass the latest round of right denying legislation did.  Anyways, what else did our forefathers not have in mind when they forged our great nation from the ashes of tyranny?  Let’s take a look.

The First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

In 1776, I’m sure there were no Muslims to speak of in the United States.  Guess what, the forefathers didn’t have Islam in mind when they wrote the Constitution.  Also, there was no radio, television, internet or satellite.  So, based on the logic of gungrabbing left, Muslims are banned and so is anything said on any television show, internet blog (uhhh…uh oh) and radio program.

The Second Amendment:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

For the sake of argument, we’ll say the only thing that you can have is a flintlock, or a black powder musket.  That’s it.  And only one per household.  Also, you have to join your local state militia (national guard) in order to have a weapon, because that’s what they meant when they wrote it.

The Third Amendment:

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

I can’t really think of a witty thing to say about this.  This came from a time when the British would just show up and take over the joint, so I can see why this one was here.

The Fourth Amendment:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

But…cars weren’t even thought of in the 1700’s.  So, you can have the right against unreasonable search and seizure in your house, but not in your car, because our forefathers didn’t have that in mind.  Find another place to hide your weed, homie.

The Fifth Amendment:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

So you can’t tell on yourself and you have to be indicted by a Grand Jury.  This is actually good.  It says they can’t take our life, liberty or property…wait, so can they grab our guns or not?  Suppose we should probably ask the folks up on Ruby Ridge.

The Sixth Amendment

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

But the forefathers couldn’t have forseen the absolute media saturation that revolves around high profile cases.  Do you really think the Batman Killer will get a fair trial?  I don’t think he deserves any trial and should be taken out back and summarily executed, but that’s besides the point.  I believe in the constitution so I guess the guy deserves his day in court, but my point is, this whole amendment should be thrown out, because high profile killers can’t ever get a fair shake.

The Seventh Amendment

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Twenty dollars?  Really?  If any amendment needs to be changed, I would say it’s this one.  I mean, talk about outdated, jeez.

The Eighth Amendment

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

So what’s excessive?  In the days when this great document was drafted, I’m sure $1,000,000 was considered astronomically excessive.  However, in today’s society, that’s not uncommon for a high profile defendant.

Ninth Amendment

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Not much to say about this one, other than I think this pretty much says you can’t use the Constitution to take away rights from other people.

Tenth Amendment

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

States Rights, people.  This hasn’t changed in over 200 years, and it shouldn’t change now.  Period.  Dot. End of story.

So, here’s the bottom line.  As I’ve illustrated, many of the amendments in the Constitution have nothing to do with modern day.  The forefathers could not have foreseen the world of 2013.  It’s impossible.  But that’s what makes the U.S. Constitution such a wonderful thing.  It lives.  It breathes.  It grows with the country.  No, AR-15s weren’t what the signers of the document had in mind when the drafted the Second Amendment, but it’s what’s we have.  It’s what the American people who chose to own a firearm have in order to ensure they can fulfill what the drafters had in mind.  You can’t bring a knife to a gun fight and you can’t own a musket when everybody else has semi-automatics.